Ever since Peter Pan, we have had a desire to fly like a bird. With spring in full bloom, birds are chirping away and having a good old time. And that got me to thinking, what would life be like being a bird?

One of the biggest benefits would be flying. Birds can fly anywhere. When it gets cold, they can fly south. When it gets hot, they can fly north. They can fly and land in trees, on ground and sometime, on water.

Birds can talk away without anyone telling them to be quiet.

Birds can poop anywhere, anytime. No bathrooms, no toilets, and no toilet paper to deal with.

Birds can make nests from twigs, lay eggs and have babies. No doctors, no hospitals, no nursing, no babysitters, no cribs or toys needed. And especially no diapers (refer to point above).

Birds can have fun in the sun and not worry about SPF30, sun spots or 10% tanning taxes.

Birds don’t need clothes, shoes, handbags or jewelry. They can just wake up and fly around naked. Male birds always see female birds naked and vice-versa. Of course that could explain all the chirping in the early mornings and late evenings.

What about the drawbacks of being a bird?

Birds make no money. They can’t go to the supermarket or fast food joint for food. They have to find their own food each and every day.

Birds have no privacy. I wonder how female birds poop in public.

Birds have “bird” brains so they can’t think, plan or look forward to the future. Being a bird is about living in the moment.

Birds can’t visit a doctor, optometrist or beakologist. If something goes wrong, it’s pain and agony until death.

Birds never go on vacation.

Birds don’t get to enjoy burgers, ribs and dogs off the grill on a holiday weekend. Just worms and insects.

And foremost of all? Birds can’t get a manicure or pedicure.

Happy Wednesday!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 at 11:04 am and is filed under Life as a bird. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.