Life Is A Sandwich
Besides needing to have all the ingredients on hand, you then have to slice tomatoes, onions, lettuce. Open up the turkey slices (who invented that packaging?) and if I am splurging, the Sorento 40 calorie Swiss cheese slices.
Then you need the condiments, I like horseradish sauce and mustard. Then you need the bread. Whole wheat of course. Then the art of putting the sandwich together, slicing it in half (do you slice it diagonally or across?), plating it and then deciding on the crucial element: Do I want a side?
The making and cleanup of the sandwich takes more time than the eating of the sandwich. But a good turkey sandwich is worth the effort.
But as I was doing this routine the other day, I thought about why we eat sandwiches and where the concept came from. Then I thought about as a kid what kind of sandwiches I ate the most of. You got that right: Wonder bread with Jif peanut butter (I liked crunchy best but most like smooth). I liked mine on one slice with a little grape jelly (jam was too expensive) and folded over. Three bites and it was gone. After about four of those, I was ready to go. My side was a quart of milk. My second fav was Wonder bread with Eckrich bologna, slice of American processed cheese and Miracle Whip. No veggies. For this, I liked a top slice of bread. And for sure, two sandwiches and some chips.
Sorry but I said the “chips” word.
And that got me to thinking that life is a sandwich. Just think of the supermarket. Upon inspection, more than half the supermarket is devoted to sandwiches.
- The bread aisle. Who would have thought that from Wonder bread we would have 1,349 varieties of bread. Not to mention bread substitutes such as bagels, English muffins, rolls, buns, subs, pita, yadda, yadda, yadda. At Meijer and Wal Mart the bread aisle is a football field long.
- The bakery. OK, not enough bread to select from, every store now has its own bakery to select even more bread at even higher prices.
- The deli. Even Wal Mart has a deli counter. Here you encounter long waits and a selection of processed meats that all taste the same but offer more than 100 different selections. Any why do why buy this by the pound? And why does everyone always order a pound? Oh, how do you want that sliced? Should I talk about cheeses?
- The deli refrigerated section. Another football field in length, every kind of processed meat and cheese is beautifully displayed along with pickles and other sandwich fixings that we cannot live without.
- The condiment aisle. Literally, how many mustards are now available? Pickles, peppers, sauces, ketchups, yadda, yadda, yadda. Another football field long.
- The chips aisle. OK, we all grew up on Lay’s except those in Michigan who grew up on Better Made and Jay’s. Original and ripple chips were it and regular and barbeque. But when Doritos Nacho Cheese came out, OMG. Is there anything more addicting? Today, you need a good half hour to peruse the chip aisle. Kettle cooked chips are so good but too bad for you. Baked are tasteless. Best to skip this aisle but what makes a better side for sandwiches?
- The side bar. Now every supermarket has their own salad (side) bar in which virtually every concoction of sides is available. Much healthier but not as tasty as chips.
- The produce section. C’mon, the produce section isn’t for salads, it’s for sandwiches. Fruit? OK for a side or dessert.
- YIKES, I said the “dessert” word. Why do we want dessert after a sandwich? Because we ate the sandwich too fast. Personally, I grew up on Hostess pies, snowballs and Suzie-Q’s. More YUM! One a day was my motto. Seriously. That was well before nutrition info on the packages. Needless to say, no Hostess for me, even if they are out of business. But a good cookie or two, or perhaps even the entire row of Oreos . And Chips Ahoy were good too. Which brings me to the:
- Cookie aisle. Another football field long in honor of the ultimate sandwich dessert. Ginger snaps are quite satisfying and low fat if you want something different. But why eat Nilla Wafers?
- Bakery. Another must have section in each store, if the cookie selection wasn’t enough, here you can buy more cookies, cakes, donuts and other high calorie treats.
- The paper aisle. Think about it, the paper aisle is really for sandwiches. Paper plates, paper towels, ziploc bags and everything else to make, pack and serve sandwiches.
If you think about what’s left in the supermarket, then you might be thinking about breakfast or dinner.
No worries however, if you can’t hit the supermarket, you can buy sandwiches almost anywhere. Subway, Jimmy John’s, Pot Belly if you want cold. Think of all the burger places that serve hamburgers, the ubiquitous hot sandwich of choice (don’t even get me started on hot dogs, especially coneys). And if you must know, pizza really is a sandwich, but open face (calzones are handy). And you know how we love our pizza. I know some of you fold over your slices to make a pizza sandwich.
All ethnic groups have their own sandwiches if you want more selection. Think Mexican. Love quesadillas and shrimp tacos. Think La Marsa. What is better than fresh pita and hummus with chicken? Think Greek. Pita with chicken and Tzatziki sauce. Think Chinese. Eggrolls and spring rolls. P.F. Chang’s best seller is lettuce wraps. Think Jewish. Is there anything better than a good Rueben? With extra Russian dressing?
Life truly is a sandwich. And with all the selection, I still love a good turkey sandwich best. Hold the chips.