On The Subject Of Life & Death- Revisited
Thursday, June 9th, 2011
Loading ...You know the moment you pick up the phone or hear the person on the other side that something is wrong, dreadfully wrong. This happened to me this week when I called a business friend that I have been trying to get in touch with. His wife answered the cell phone, there was a moment of silence and I knew the news wasn’t good. My friend passed away at the age of 42 from pancreatic cancer. He felt stomach aches three months prior. That’s how fast it happened. I spoke for a while with the surviving spouse (I hate the word “widow”) and she is strong and committed. It’s one thing to listen, it’s another to be in her shoes.
The dreaded email.
You know the moment you start reading the email that something is wrong, dreadfully wrong. You aren’t personally close to the person involved hence the email instead of the phone call. This happened to me this week not once, but twice. In one instance the man at age of 45 suffered a massive heart attack and luckily survived. The other man was not so lucky, also at the same age. You start thinking that stuff like this can’t happen to people in their 40’s and then again you start thinking that not only can it happen, but it is happening.
The dreaded personal visit.
You know the moment the person comes to see you that something is wrong, dreadfully wrong. You know from the look on their face and the first words that come out of their mouth. You are never prepared for this visit. This happened to me this week when I found out a good friend of this person who came to visit me was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer with a two year to live window. He is only 41 years old. Tell me it’s not true. Oh, it’s true, it’s spread also to the lung and liver. But there’s hope, there’s experimental drugs in Europe, there’s . . . . .
The dreaded newspaper article
You know the moment you start reading the article when the writer starts off with the great things this person achieved in his career that you know something is wrong, dreadfully wrong. This happened to me today as I was reading about Jim Northrup passing away at the age of 71. He had severe complications from Alzheimer’s during his past few years and had a fatal seizure. I knew Jim Northrup because I hired him to be at my son’s Bar Mitzvah some 17 years ago. He was there with Ernie Harwell and Jim Price (at least Price is alive and well doing Tiger’s broadcasting). 42, 45, 71? There is no guaranteed age at which we will live to.
The dreaded excuse.
When someone dies of cancer or anything prematurely, everyone wants to know if the person smoked, drank, did drugs, swung upside down, ran 20 marathons a year, or anything outside the realm of “normal.” Why? So they can brush off the death to the excuse of the person overindulging in some wrongful activity. Then we can go on with our own lives and live to be 100. OK, I get that but more and more frequently, premature cancer deaths happen to people who are straight as an arrow and in perfect health. With cancer and other insidious diseases, there is no cause and effect. So when someone dies, get over the reason why, understand that life is over for that person. And start living your own life.
The one-third rule.
I have a rule which everyone seems to understand. The rule is this: How we live is based on three things, each with equal weighting- genetics; how we take care of ourselves; and luck. Some people have no luck like my business friend. Some people continue to smoke, eat at McDonald’s everyday and suffer a heart attack at the age of 45. And others do whatever and live to be 90. In the scheme of things, I work out daily and eat healthy. But you know what? I’ll take as much luck as I can get.
Life is to be alive.
My business friend doesn’t have to worry about $4 gas, our $1 freight surcharge, terrorism, unemployment, 95 degree humid days and working overtime. He doesn’t have to worry about a single thing. Someone once told me years ago when I asked how he was doing, he told me “When I wake up on this side of the earth, I am doing quite well.” Perhaps it’s time to start thinking how great it is to be alive.
Happy Thursday!
