Jimmy Buffett For President

1. Add Anguilla and Mexico as #51 and #52 states. The U.S. needs a tropical location in the east and Anguilla is ideal. Adding Mexico would eliminate the immigration issues, make Tequila the official “hard” beverage, reduce NAFTA regulations and create jobs. Just think of all the flags that would need to be replaced.

2. Help get people off Prozac. With the economy in the dumps and unemployment stuck at 9.5%, Jimmy would put his speeches into song and instead of the loud, obnoxious, political tone, Jimmy’s message would be heard by all. This alone would put people in a better mood.

3. Come Monday would be welcomed instead of dreaded.

4. Cheeseburgers would be the national “American” food like it was years ago. They would be adorned with a big kosher pickle and hot French fries. Heinz ketchup would be a big contributor.

5. We would adopt a more casual dress code. Shorts, flip-flops and t-shirts would be widely accepted.

6. Moustaches would be back in style, especially the pencil thin varieties. The last time they were in style the economy was booming.

7. Medical marijuana would become legal nationally. Redemption after all.

8. Taxes would go down. More people would buy Landshark beer, Margaritiville food items and eat dinner at Margaritiville restaurants. All this added revenue would reduce taxes.

9. And last but not least, it’s 5:00PM somewhere. Now how bad can that be?

10. Happy Wednesday!